Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are the wise words of the great Benjamin Franklin. Never has such heart felt eloquence been declared since the great Stephen Tyler told us all that "life is a journey not a destination."
Putting all that aside, I have to tell you of the many milestones that have been laid down the last couple of weeks at Piddleworld

First on the list is The big guys third anniversary of working at Britains most quirky talked about brewery. This monumental day coincided with brew number 600. This naturally had to be our flagship ale...Piddle. As I have mentioned before, myself and our noble leader spend an admiral amount of time "flavour profiling" and with the assistance of Will the "yoda of hops" we made the slightest of tweeks to the bittering hops. You may already know that we add three stages of hops to every brew, the first lot added at the point of coming to the boil are the "bittering" hops these give the brew its bitterness (funny that) and its astringency, a slight replacement of a proportion of these have given us a smoother and more rounded mouth feel. the other two stages are the "lates" and when the boil has stopped bubbling the "off boils" these give the beer its flavour and aroma. There is something quite spiritual about adding the mighty hop to the brew, I have given the honour of this to two special people over the last few days, Andy Stevens the electrical wizzard the gets me out of trouble at the drop of a hat, or flash bang at the copper! and of course our OLD friend Wurthers. Making sure they both stuck to my strictest health and safety directive and stayed off the top step of my ladders, as we dont want a bright pink screaming man in the beer as it would sting a bit and obviously ruin the brew.

We also got our van back from the Automobile Hospital. Our pole dancing queen of the road had a slight altercation with an indecisive BMW and modified the front. As a momento we have been given the old hood (thats american for bonnet, The big guy is teaching me yankee talk at the moment). We really arent sure what to do with it. My plan is to polish it up with wax and then wait until it snows and then set the west dorset land speed record for a 4 man/3 blokes and a bird, gravity powered machine down the side of the Piddle Valley. Ive picked my spot, but feel it may be quite a while until weather conditions suit.

The sheer mention of snow seems a distant memory in light of the recent weather. Spring is definitely upon us post Vernal Equinox. I have just completed a mini tour of "meet the brewer" in conjunction with wetherspoons Great British Real Ale Festival and the launch of this seasons ale "Cocky Hop". No two events were the same and I have met lots of lovely people, many of whom I will see again when they come to visit the brewery. A special mention has to go to the boys based at Bovington that I met on the sunny patio at The Swan in Weymouth, these brave and spirited men are off to Afghan in the next few weeks, and I wish them a safe and speedy return. Also the two "likely lads" at The Sir Percy Florence Shelley, with a combined age of nearly 150 years with hilarious tales of when man met machine at the automated checkouts in Sainsburys and general chaos and living proof that beer is good for you. Interestingly the local knowledge of an abundance of wild hops growning in a couple of hedgerows got me quite excited. So watch this space for one of the Piddle specials coming out in the autumn, any suggestions of a name for this wild ale will be gratefully received at vic@dorsetpiddlebrewery.co.uk or posted on the comments page here.Until next my happy piddlers, be nice to each other and drink great beer.
Cheers
Vic the brewer

The Vernal Equinox and a Spring in your Cocky

It's that time of year again, when the sun crosses the equator, night is as long as day, everyone gets a bit frisky and we brew Cocky Hop with that certain spring to our step.

Ahh the Cocky fella.. a cheeky number, light and zingy and at 4.7% a heady brew that will add a bit of rosieness to your cheeks. This really does mean those cold dark winter mornings are well and truly behind us. I leave the mill in the morning and I can actually see the van before I get in it, It's a race between me and the sun to see who can be over the top of the hill 1st as i drive up and over from the Cerne Valley into The Piddle Valley. The sun seems to have the advantage over me at the moment. So whats been happening in Piddle world I hear you all ask...Well, (he takes a deep breath and exhales thoughtfully,) I have finally bitten the bullet and had my Hot Liquor Tank repaired, the slight drip......drip.........drip.... progressed onto DRIPDRIPDRIP then a fully blown leak, A tiny leak you may well scoff, tis no more than a tiny repair man, what's the matter with you, get on with it and all that, in reality it was another venture into the world of Heath Robinson egineering skills and complex lateral thinking. All is now well and we can brew again without the slding scale of water mathmatics and temperature stabily to compensate for all of the above. Life is now a breeze again in the brewhouse, my furrowed brow has gone back to normal without the aid of botox. Henry from Three Core Pumps we salute you, and we are forever in your debt. As you can see from the above photograph, we used the gap in the brew schedule to get creative in celebration of imminent launch of"The Cocky One"

Not wishing to be left out of all this artistic behaviour the Big Fella got busy with the brush too, bodly stepping up to the plate, well cold room walls to be totally accurate, he cast aside his gloves and went in bare fisted, as you can see from the photo this hasn't dampened his spirit, and when Clare gets back in the new sprinter I'm sure she will be swooning at the sheer beautifulness of her beloved cold store. "The Bird" as she is politically correctly referred to has been away with her boyfriend to sunny Yorkshire for the week, this meant we had the pleasure of the more experienced knight of the road Wurthers,

He took charge of his kingdom and the slightly modified van with great vigour, showing no signs of his advancing years and without that familiar whiff of deep heat, this is a sure sign the retirement from regular 5 a side football is suiting him well, he did get his footy fix this week when dropping off some Piddle to Wimbourne Town F.C. This weekend sees another local derby against the mighty Gosport. apparently Steve Claridge plays for them from time to time. When Paul heard this he got all excited and proudly declared that he had been there for afternoon tea, upon finding out that this was a different Claridges he swanned off to carry on administering some more direct career guidance to our spirited apprentice.

So in the coming week I will be brewing Cocky, Piddle, Jimmy and of course Slasher. I will keep you up to date on this blog page, If you want to meet me in person I have been ingratiated into the fold of Wetherspoons Beer festivals, I will be taking "The meet the brewer" show on the road and will be at "The Moon in the Square" in Bournemouth on Monday 19th March in the evening and then again on Saturday 24th at "The Swan" in weymouth at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
Happy Spring Piddling folks

Vic

Big Wednesday and IPA LOT

So February is upon us, the days are getting longer since the passing of Imbolc (google it) and spring is just over the horizon. My blogging hasn't been as regular as I had intended but thats the way I roll.
So whats been happing since my last ramblings, well quite a bit has been going on at the worlds quirkiest brewery. We had the Beerex in Dorchester, I got to the afternoon session on the saturday with our 18 year old apprentice and then again with the rest of the Piddle gang on the evening session.

Our IPA LOT 7.1 was one of the 1st beers to sell out, at a mere 7.1% abv I'm guessing it was enjoyed by many and not one hollow legged legend. It was a game of two halves for me, no pun intended there, the first half was the afternoon, and as i had to drive back afterwards this was a sober affair. The evening was a different story altogether, many beers samples and pontificated over, loud music, Jim from the farm and his crazy dancing, a quick bunk up to the Colliton Club and back before anyone noticed we had gone,and a special mention has to go to my good friend and brewing assistant Simon and yet another expensive jacket on display that we had not seen before, swit swoo big guy! The evening ended in text book style with our bosses treating myself and the wife to tradition turkish supper of champions, before retiring to our taxi for the journey along the Blackmore Vale to home. I do think Empire Kebabs in Dorch should at least sponsor a barrel at next years event! We managed to raise over 10 thousand pounds for charity and the brave souls at Weymouth Lifeboat station can now have ALL their lifejackets replaced.

Back to the brewhouse, we have spent a lot of time evolving our beers, we take into account the tiniest changes in extract from our malts, alpha humulone variances and so on, we have many blind tastings, triangle tests and flavour profiling to keep our beer consistent but with the tiniest tweek here and there, brewing is a mix of art and science and the most rewarding and demanding job in the world, often descibed as a cruel mistress. This mistress had me out late on tuesday evening, helping Andy with the element in the copper and within a few hours I was back at the mash tun just before 7:30am on a day known now as "Big Wednesday" history was made on this day as we took on and completed our first double brew, yes that's two brews in one day with the 2nd one following on before the 1st one has finished, with genius usage of hot liqour and cunning mathmatics combined with confidence befitting a swagger like Mick Jagger, we managed to pull off this feat and be finished just after midnight, Rob had aspirations of being in the pub for last orders, even with his help on the clean down this was a bridge too far on this occasion. The bar has now been set and we will be drinking from the golden chalis on our next attempt!

I have to mention "Little Piddle World" before finishing off this literary masterpiece. Our Shed....a long time in the making, started by "Our Grandad" Christopher Wurthers this thankless task took us over a month to complete, a stolen hour here and there, Young Cosgrove was sent under the roof with a torch and cordless drill and the instruction book that would rival war and peace, we completed this complex structure and the joy and relief was worth it to see the smile on Clares face as she realised her ambition to reclaim the coldstore to house beer only and not a whole load of worthless junk that makes up our outside bars and Robs selection of bar stools.

And finally.. The next seasonal on my schedule is Cocky Hop, a fragrant brew to make, a cornucopia of hops that give a light zingy abundace of taste with a following on of slight bitterness in the aftertaste that keeps you going back for more, available now in bottles and in the cask before the spring equinox.
Happy Piddling folks, until next time...
Cheers
Vic

2012- More than just a number..

So here we are, one week into the new year. Before I start on this years intentions and aspirations, I would like to fleetingly glance back over last year. Two awards for Legwarmer, one courtesy of myself and the other from my predecessor Simon.
I started working for Britain's quirkiest and most talked about brewery the day after my 41st birthday. I have just completed my 100th Piddle brew, this was Silent Slasher. This was a beautiful thing in itself, as the very first brew i made after strolling nervously through the doors of Piddle world was Slasher, and the day my good friend and previous brewer left, the delivery returned from cold filterers and bottling plant with our inaugural batch of you guessed it Silent Slasher. I will never forget that moment of sitting outside the back of the old building with Ginger Simon and Big Simon bathed in glorious sunshine and drinking our very first "bright" Slashers straight from the bottle and toasting the dawn of a new era in Piddle bottled ales.

Moving it along a few months brings me to the great Dorset County Show, this was my first taste of the reactions of the great British public on mass to my Piddle creations. Rob and Paul were on cracking form as usual, ensuring the Piddle Bar was THE place to be, complete with chandeliers, red velvet stools and guilt framed paintings all inside a tent! I would also like to mention the hand crafted bar itself, this resembles a large butchers block complete with coach bolts and constructed by my good self with the cabinet makers tool of choice the 16 inch chainsaw, i recall it was late into one summers evening Rob was in the old office wading through a huge pile of paperwork, Clare had just returned from another hard days cruising round the South West dropping of lots of beer and suntanning her right arm, and i was covered in sawdust, yeast and sweat trying to work out how all these pieces of precision cut timber was going to be assembled into a bar, when our leader emerged from the brewhouse muttered the immortal words " mmm smells like you've been scrambling out here Vic, i think i'd like three of those bars made for the show, and by the way this Leg Warmer that got back today is bloody lovely!"

Of course the big news of the year was our long awaited move to the new brewery, it was always "in three weeks time" until one day Rob told us it will be in the next "two weeks" Simon and I looked at each other, then the open door Rob had disappeared through, then back at each other, did he just say two weeks dude? We better start getting things together, ordering skips and sorting what stays, what goes, and where are we going to put it all, and how are we going to move it all and not lose any brewing days. Luckily enough Big Simon had been hiding his talents for fork lift driving under a bushel, as the day got nearer, he got quieter, had nightmares of our copper breaking loose from the forklift and rolling down the hill and smashing to a million pieces. All of this was unfounded as the move went seamlessly and we were brewing on Bank Holiday Monday.

Our efficiency has got a helluva lot tighter since the move, we lose no hot water on the transfer, and we are the pride of Wessex water for our effluent treatment, so much so that myself and Rob have been invited to the sewage and water treatment works as special privileged guests for a behind the scenes tour by the Water Chief herself, unfortunately Paul said he can't make it that day as he has a very important meeting at exactly that time that he has yet to arrange. All joking aside we are committed to sustainability and will strive to do the right thing to protect and look after our environment. I guess this comes from creating our beers from 4 key natural ingredients, malts, hops, yeast and of course water. I am getting a bit bored of all the high nitrogen talk/cloudy beer being jibber jabbered at the moment, I would like to make my point very clear, never being one to shy away from sticking my head above the parapet I can tell you this, The South West of England has had the "pick of the crop" this year, nitrogen levels are on average 1.51% compared to 1.92% in the east, we had more sunshine and rain when we needed it and less rain at harvest time and I do have the official crop report backing all this up with lots more interesting facts and figures, for sure there is going to be less malting barley available as a nation, so we are very lucky to have our very good friends and best maltsters in the country working closely with us in geographicaly the best part of the country.

Rant over, so what will this year bring us? I have IPA Lot 71 on my brew schedule, this will be ready for the beer festival in Dorchester on the first weekend in February at the corn exchange, www.beerex.co.uk oh how our forefathers would be proud of us using this historic building for such an event. And of course Little Willy is to go into cask too, i have learned a lot from last time i lovingly crafted this hefty brew, i intend to brew a little bit less per batch, as capacity was my issue on the mash tun last time, and the Heath Robinson approach to sparging was fun but not necessary.
It's Saturday night now and I'm sat in front of my laptop with an empty glass, So i will sign off now and go and have a Pint of this Slasher I've been going on about. Please Piddle responsibly, and as my Uncle Paul would say..."away you go laughing"
Cheers
Vic the brewer

Are you hangin' up your stocking on the wall....

It's the time of year that Santa has a ball... And yes folks he rides a red nose raindeer. Before i go off at a tangent and start warbling like Noddy Holder, It's time to bring you upto date on the last few crazy weeks at "Britains Quirkiest Brewery"

We have been flat out in the brewhouse keeping up with demand making Piddle, Jimmy Riddle, Silent Slasher, Yogi, Thunderbox, Legwarmer and of course Santa's Potty. It will be a shame to see this one disappear from the pumps in the next few weeks. The thing with beers for annual occasions, is the occassion passes and we have to wait another year for it to come round again, obvious i know, but i have become very fond of Santa over the last couple of months. In true Piddle style we dont just stick a fancy label on a pint of best and knock up a festive pump clip we actually care about the beer and it's identity and have spent a fair amount of time and effort testing, tasting and developing this special beer. This is the only brew I make using Brown malt and complementing this biscuity malt base is a duo of hops. The overall result is a lovely caramel beer with nutty insinuations. I fully intend to quaff a few of these beauties over the Christmas break, maybe cracking a few hazel nuts and some old rehashed jokes at the same time. At 3.9% a few can be had in the afternoon in true session beer style. Rob our leader has judged production levels to the kind of accuracy NASA aspire to. We have barely a dozen cases sat on a lone pallet in the corner of the cold store. I wonder what will happen to them if they don't go out on the van in the next few days, well i'm sure all my hard working thirsty workmates at Team Piddle will find a solution to this tricky problem, especially with our youngest team member Ashley turning 18 on Christmas Eve!
This week is always going to be a funny week in the brewery, I brewed the last one of the year on Thursday, it was our own cheeky rascal Jimmy Riddle, I think it must be the oats that give him his bold charachter and flavoursome mouth feel that is more fitting to an ale of a much higher Abv. This whole experience encapsultes the legend of Jimmy Riddle, next time you are lucky enough to be in a pub with Jimmy on draught, have a look at the pump clip and see exactly how many watches the chirpy blighter has about his person, and why does he have those grass stains on his knees? We marked this monumental event with the type of behaviour I grew up watching on Tizwas, my only dissapointment was Paul my other big boss has a rotten cold and couldn't join in the foam party. He loves a good party and silly shenanigans, but the good news is he is on the mend just in time for christmas, So look out Piddle Valley and the Blackmore Vale Mr Goldsack is fully recharged and ready to go, don't be suprised to wake up a bit jaded and wonder why exactly did i end up with my pants on my head " I only popped out for a quick pint", and of course "what fun those Piddle fellows are."

I intend on brewing Thunderbox a few more times this season, I think brewing Porters should follow the lead of our cidermaking chums and use the first cuckoo of the year as an integeral part of our calender and continue brewing upto this point. I may get strung up for this but I have been known to enjoy a Thunderbox from the fridge. "Stout from the fridge!!" i hear you cry, Are you mad? Well yes I am, never denied it, never will. The thing is everyone should get the optimun enjoyment from their beer, we work hard enough to buy it, a few lucky ones like myself work hard to make it so why not have it as you want it? Stout or Porter, (whatever is your persuation on this age old debate)from the refridgerator is being extremely contraversial, Personally i feel this enhances the blackcurrant flavourings gleed from the Bramling Cross hop, but this does bring me on to a real quandry i have. What is the reason for not putting your ale in the fridge? we are all told by people who really know about this stuff beer should be served at exactly 12-13 degrees C. Simply writing these ramblings of an errant brewer has made me go and grab a cold Slasher from the fridge, my mouth is positlively bursting with floral flavours now, giving way to a bitterness and finishing with a sweet aftertaste. None of the flavours have been lost in this chilling, yes it tastes different from an ambient temperatured one, but I can honestly say i love it both ways and if only I had picked up more than one from The Cerne Abbas stores I would conduct a back to back test myself right now, And yes I buy the beer I make from the village shop, I see it as my part in the circle of life, Paul and Rob pay me, I give my money to Andrew in the shop, he buys beer from Piddle brewery, he gives them money and it comes back to me again, and so the never ending story unfolds. I am interested to know your feeling on "cold ones" feel free to leave your thoughts on here, or facebook. Its all feedback that will help me on my way to producing the nirvana of beer perfection, or as it will be known "Goldsacks"
Until the next installment my happy piddlers, I wish you a happy and healthy christmas and all the very best for 2012. Dont forget the tickets for next years beerex are on sale now.... www.beerex.co.uk
Bottoms Up
Vic the brewer

Red, Gold and Green

Well it's all been happening at Piddle Towers in the last couple of weeks. I have finished brewing Little Willy, this scoundrel will add some colour to your cheeks in the coming winter months, he even comes with an "approach with caution" warning on the side of the bottle also the obligitory 5.9% bit too, he has the deepest of red colouring in his midst, this picture accentuates the colour due to the combination of digital media and Rob's old anglepoise lamp!

Following on from the success of Little Willy an impromtu meeting was held and it was decided the arrival of 6.9 Big Willy will be upon us soon. The rainbow brought with it the return of Leg Warmer from the bottling plant. This remarkable event was carried out in an unexpected break from the lashing rain, just long enough to unload the lorry and get them all safely nestled in the warehouse and then the beer gods bathed the warehouse in dazzling sun rays, this created the most perfect of rainbows. I snatched a quick shot with my phone and then set about the important job in hand of tasting this eagerly awaited ginger beauty

What happened next can only be described as an angel dancing on your tastebuds, the subtle increase in the ginger has made this beer even tastier than before, The plan was to pour into the cylinders, take gravities, ph reading, pontificate a bit about clarity, aroma, calculate the abv with mathmatical pricision to two decimal places etc.etc. The reality was handing the vessel to my trusted assistant Simon after my first mouthfull, while trying to remain poker faced and guage his reaction, watching about a third of it disappear down this throat to the biggest smile appear across his face, handing me back the vessel without a word, i promptly swallowed half of what was left, handed it back to him to complete the job. At this point we thought it was best to take a glass upstairs to our leader. In all the time i have worked for Rob and Paul I can count on one hand the amount of times I've heard Rob use the "F" word (and that includes the 3 PH probes i have broken in the last two months)"F*@&ing Hell Vic that is beautiful" "Thats an awesome award winning beer" At that point i mentioned the testing process carried out two minutes prior to this, he fully understood and gave a fully belly laugh, I once again thanked him for giving me the best job in the world and I headed back to the brewhouse a very happy man.

The Thunderbox has been going well, We took a small cask to The Dorchester Open Commerce group meeting last week, where we did a little talk to the gathering about ourselves and what we do, this is a great organisation of business people in the local area, who actively help each other with recommendations and assist each other with knowledge and shared experiences. I must admit I possibly chose an unusual time to update Rob on the progress I have made regarding the imminent growing of Maris Otter at The Farm. But thats another massive story to big to go into right now. Sally was my designated driver that evening, so when she suggested popping into The Giant in Cerne Abbas and treating me to a pint, how could I refuse? I took advantage of one(read 4) of the few remaining pints of Green Reaper. You have to be quick getting this down the hatch as everyone wants to talk about it, and come up with many ideas to help grow our business, my personal one involves St. Patricks day and New York.....

Cheers xx

Green Reaper and Little Willie

Its been another busy week at Dorset's award wining brewery. Our Leg Warmer is currently in its maturation tanks at the bottling plant so this should be ready to be quaffed within a week or so. I have brewed another Thunderbox for cask, this porter has completely knocked my socks off. Not only is it a dark ale yet suprisingly fruity, the aroma wafting from my brewhouse has caused Pete the saddler to stop what he was doing and comment that i must love doing what i do. I must admit brewing T.box has been a revelation, fermentation has been a dream, as you know a good brewer will nurture his/her brews upto the point they get put into cask or bottle, fastidiously documenting all stages of the process. With all gravities as we wished for I set up my finings trials at the end of the day and returned the following morning to ascertain what amount isinglass i would plump for. It was at this point Rob went scrabbling around behind the bookcase in Clare's office and came back clutching an old anglepoise lamp and with a glint in his eye like a naughty schoolboy, plugged it in and switched it on behind the cylinders. The deepest ruby red appeared from within this black beer like some kind of mystical magic. The next time you are lucky enough to have a pint of this spectacular beer in your hand put it up to a light and see for yourself.

The next exciting creation from within the brewhouse is the evoloution of Little Willie, this has graduated from 4.9% to a hefty 5.9. I have to admit the extra 20 percent of grist was an interesting experience for myself and the mash tun, but we both coped quite well and he is currently residing in the big tank, flocculation today started suddenly, and i opted to open one of the big lids and leave over night, so it will be interesting to see what we are greeted with in the morning, i will make sure i have charged the camera as i am guessing this will be quite special!

And finally....The Green Reaper.. this is our GREEN BEER and by a green beer i do not mean a greeen beer made with the first cuttings of the freshed hops from this years crop, brewed directly from bine to copper, like our very own Green Pea, (more about that beauty in future blogs) but a beer that is actually Green. You can see pictures of this wonderfull creation on our facebook page. It is actually Green! You can find this locally in The Giant Inn in Cerne Abbas over this weekend and in various JDW pubs and Free Houses,feel free to email or call the brewery and the piddle team will point you in the direction of your nearest establishment serving the "Evil twin of Silent Slasher"
Thats it for this installment be nice to each other, or as Charles Allen once said "You can make more friends in a month by being interested in them than in ten years by trying to get them interested in you."
Happy Piddling
Vic